Yesterday when I picked Hope up from school, they mentioned that she fell asleep while she was eating her lunch, and slept for 2 hours. That is so unlike Hope to fall asleep midday, so I knew she must not be feeling good. Last night, I went out with some friends for birthday dessert, and Todd called me to say that Hope was acting really funny, and it seemed like she was having seizures. She had a super high fever too. We called 911, and they took her to the hospital. Turned out it was called febrile seizures, which are basically high fever induced. Her fever was 104-105! She had an ear infection, and was throwing up, so the doctors gave her an antibiotic and some ibuprofin and tylenol. Once her fever came down, we got to go home.
While we were sitting in the ER, she was sitting on my lap with just her diaper on. I was drawn to her belly button. I had never really looked closely at it before, but with nothing to do, I began to really examine it. I was feeling so much emotion, thinking that she at one time was attached to a cord that linked her to her birthmother. Someone who wasnt with her anymore. Someone who didnt know she was in the hospital with a fever. I felt a profound sense of loss for her birthmother, to not be able to experience this little treasure. I dont know who she is, or what the circumstances were. I know that she must think of her little girl often. Maybe she is in heaven now. Maybe she is somewhere in China wondering about the little girl she once knew. I felt an overwhelming feeling of thankfulness that I was with her. That somehow God saw it fit to match us with this little person, halfway across the world. That out of every child on the earth, she was the one that He picked. He knew somehow we would be a team. That somehow we would have what it was that this little girl needed. And that we needed her. That we get to share her life, and be her mommy and daddy. Family. Though I didn’t give birth to her, the feelings are not different. I’m still her mommy. Shes my girl. Im so glad.
If you have ever felt a pull on your heart for adoption, I just want to encourage you to go for it. Imagine life without a mommy to hold you when you’re sick. A daddy to tickle you and read you a book at night. There are so many kids out there, who really really need someone to love them. Could that be you?
March 3rd, 2009 at 11:06 am
Some people think that they should adopt to give kids a family, but we found with Acer that he gave us a family. We are so blessed by our little Guy, he’s such a joy to us. I didn’t need to be physically connected to him for him to be my son. he was ours from those first little Buddha pictures of him with the grapes strategically placed, to today when he snuggled up next to me to learn the different shapes and flavors of his favorite rice crackers.
March 3rd, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Crying…for all of it. For what He gives.
I sure do miss you all.
And we look forward to our little adopted bundle.
xoxo
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:06 pm
Dearest Guza,
What a touching and beautiful story of the emotions and the love that you experienced in the ER. How thoughtful of you to think of her birth mother and what she may be feeling. That’s just like you, Guza. You have such a talent in the way you express your feelings and emotions in writing. What a gift. Hoping that our Hope is feeling so much better today. You are all so blessed to have each other, your precious family. Thank you for sharing your story. You’re the best and I love you!!!!!
God Bless!!
I love you all.
Auntie Carol
March 4th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
We pray for her every night or my girls have a fit. They will be sad she’s not feeling well.
I think of my girls birth mother often. I do shed tears for her and pray for her savation so that she can see her baby in heaven one day. God has a plan, but i’m sad for the many children that are still waiting for their mommies and daddies. those children with birth defects deserve someone to love them too.
Don’t get me going on this topic.
give Hope an extra hug from us.
March 4th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I am sorry to hear she had to go through that! My sons (they are twins) both had them and one time Christian had a febrile seizure that lasted 15 minutes. It was the scariest thing I have ever seen in my life. Thank goodness they don’t seem to do any long term damage. They only had them when they were little and that was many years ago. I have a question for you. How is Hope’s eyesight these days? Can you tell any difference in her ability to see? Do her glasses help? Is surgery still an option? We would love to know how she is doing in that area. We hope you get better soon. Love some blog friends you don’t know in real life. 🙂
March 9th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
I just loved your story…..adoption is such a miracle. Every child is a treasure to be loved…. I hope that others will be inspired by your story and the blessings of a child just like your Hope. You are an inspiration!